All Stories Have A Beginning
by asimus
Summary: "When you have no light to guide you, and no one to walk beside you, I will come to you."A highly romanticised version of how Severus Snape fell in league with the Dark Lord. Poor choices were made, sins committed, but he was always a good man on the inside. We all know about the man who was Severus Snape, but we don't know the path he took to get there.
1. Chapter 1

All Stories Have A Beginning

( "When you have no light to guide you, and no one to walk beside you, I will come to you."A highly romanticised version of how Severus Snape fell in league with the Dark Lord. Poor choices were made, sins committed, but he was always a good man on the inside.)

**A/N:I've never written a Harry Potter fanfiction before so please bare with me. I feel like I'm trying on new jeans! I find the older generation characters truly inspiring and find myself wanting to know how James Potter went from Bully to Hero, and how Severus went from the shy boy next door to Death Eater. Who knows what drives these characters, but here is my interpretation. I'll do my best to update regularly and stay within the canon that we know. Feedback is always loved and helps me improve as a writer. I have no beta at the moment so apologise for typos. I proof read as best as I can but some things always fall through the cracks. Feel free to point these out. - Asi**

Regarding:A Dreadful Realisation

A dark haired shadow of a boy, and a girl of angelic beauty, sit together on the stone step, blocking the archway that leads onto the bright summers day. Most of the students are outside all ready, playing on the quad, cloaks strewn upon the grass forming an uneven black carpet. They look like a strange pair, but they are in no ones way and so no one pays them any attention. His dark eyes survey her red silky locks and pale nimble fingers as she pulls the petals off a daisy.

"Oh Severus..." Lily breaks the companionable silence that has been hanging over them for quite some while. He smiles at her, a dark strand of hair falling across his face as he looks away, she had caught him watching. There had been many days like this in their time before Hogwarts, but since their arrival these stolen moments had become a rarity. He lapped these up, rarely speaking aloud his dark thoughts, determined not to cloud her face with a frown and ruin such a beautiful day. Already Severus longed for the holidays where it would be just them minus the distractions that the Wizards school had presented. New friends, a different house, separate classes. They were just weeks in and he often felt he had lost his best friend already.

"Oh Severus, I think I'm in love."

His look of horror is obviously misread as a look of interest as she grins at him and and continues, " With James."

"Potter!" it's not a question, he understands her fully, even knew this was coming, it didn't stop his insides from shredding, bile rising up from his wasted stomach into his throat. "But he's an idiot!"

"He's not!"

" ...arrogant, big headed, a bully, he's a complete dick, him and those friends of his!"

Lilly glares at him, her expression a mixture of fury and disappointment. They were her friends too now.

" Don't be mean Severus, he's nice once you get to know him, oh and such a good flier."

His insides had stopped tearing in two and had now disappeared completely, as if hit with a particularly accurate vanishing spell that had obliterated his stomach and lungs. Not his heart though, that was abnormally engorged and lodged in his throat impeding any attempt at words. Severus had become devoid of substance, certain if she prodded him, he would simply cave in on himself, a jelly Snape, one that would wibble and wobble before it fell down. Perhaps he was already falling. He felt sick. His eyes and throat burned, but he refused to let tears fall. Not over this, not because of Potter.

He looked away again.

"But I..." his words failed to cross his lips. This was no surprise as the words he wanted were often lost to him. It was difficult to tell ones best friend, ones only friend, that you loved her, so much to loose, so difficult to take that risk. Coward? Never, but cautious most certainly.

Her expression softened and her lips almost turned skywards into a smile. She knew, she must do. His heart skipped a beat whilst it pounded in its abnormal position.

" You're my best friend..."

" Don't."

Said heart stopped. He had barely produced that single syllable, and so stood abruptly to punctuate his point. Oh, he had found his insides again, but they had dropped to the floor with a cold wet slap. "Just..."

She may well have been stamping on them.

He fled across the courtyard, not stopping for anything, not the group of Gryffindor who called out " Why so snivelly Snivelous?"or for his fellow Slytherins who hooted that he was a "Mudblood lover." He broke his pace only when he descended the stairs to the secret doorway of his dungeon common room. He some how put one foot in front of the other, so much efforts went into keeping his emotional upheaval from spilling out until he reached the privacy of him empty dorm room. He pulled the great green velvet drapes protectively around him, and buried his face into his pillow to scream. He doesn't think he ever stopped.


	2. Chapter 2

All Stories Have A Beginning

**A/N: In my mind Severus would be an outcast from the start. He has tried to cross the House Divide which would be a major no no, particularly for arch rivals such as Slytherin and Gryffindor. This would ultimately result in him being shunned by both Houses. **

Regarding: The Dissatisfactory Childhood of Severus Snape

For days after that Severus had refused to leave the confines of bed, the drapes pulled around like protective barriers as he sat cross legged with his nose deep in a book. Books had always been his most trusted friends, and could transport him away from his life time of humiliation and depression.

As a child, Severus had grown up in a large ornate Victorian house, dark and spacious with rooms upon rooms stuffed to the seams with books, pages and scrolls. His home was built in the centre of a large plot of land, not another wizard or muggle could be found for miles around. This suited Severus fine, who would often sit alone under old gnarled elm tree reading about great dark wizards of the past. The subject intrigued him even then, the characters between the pages did great, but such terrible things. It sent thrilling shivers down the young boys spine, they were so much more frightening then the monsters from the dark forests or spirits from the other dimensions.

Severus didn't even know what it was like to have a real friend until he was 11 years old. He watched from behind a line of bushes as the Evans family moved into the cottage over the hill and down the lane. They were a plain family of muggles, boring, beige and slightly bitter. He had almost turned away, until he caught sight of the youngest daughter. Her bright red hair seemed to be the only colour the family had brought with them, standing out distinctly against the sedate pastels and greys that coated everything else. Her eyes shone blue-green and she smiled as she spied him watching from beneath the recently bare branches. Suddenly frightened, he had shot her a quick, stiff half smirk, before he abandoned his hiding place and hared back up the slope to the safety of his elm tree. Even from there he could feel the magic in her. He remembered how it warmed his insides on that cold autumn day.

"A muggle born witch" he had thought to himself with a hint of irony, "my father will love that." he had decided then not to let it slip, never wanting the wrath of his father to fall upon anyone outside of his house, and had returned home early, quietly sliding upstairs to his room and had not come out again for a good couple of days. No one noticed.

Over time, Lily and he had become firm friends. She had known nothing of the wizarding world, and so he had took it upon himself to tutor her, teach her spells and magical games. For the first time in his life Severus could honestly say he was happy. When she had shown him her Hogwarts letter, he had been delighted. How he had wished they would be in the same house, taking classes together, eating together, forever at each others sides. Fate, it would seem, had other ideas.

Just a few weeks into the school term, and already James Potter had driven a wedge between himself and the girl he loved. Oh he would get his revenge. Quiet fury alone fuelled him through the days and nights as he flipped through page after page of his spell book. On and on he read, occasionally switching books but never once coming up for air, or food, or sleep. There had to be a spell that would serve as suitable punishment for the infuriating Gryffindor. His anger and humiliation burned into a solid hate.

Three days later, he was tipped from his bed by three of the Slytherin boys that he shared his room with. They had crept up upon him far to easily, and had pulled the entire mattress from under him, causing him to sprawl onto the ground with a loud and painful crash.

"The Mud Blood is here to see you." they sniped, and made slurping snogging noises. Severus, determined not to show any flicker of emotion, simply brushed himself off and stalked from the room. He could not help the spreading feeling of joy that always accompanied Lily's visits, or the way his spidery walk transformed into a bound as he crossed the common room away from prying eyes. All thoughts of curses and jinxes were momentarily forgotten as he reached the doorway. For now, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**All Stories Have A Beginning**

Regarding: A Sudden Understanding

It was an expression of anxious concern that greeted Severus as he flung open the Common Room door revealing the red headed Gryffindor.

The location of the Slytherin Common Room had always been a well kept secret only known to those selected Slytherin by the Sorting Hat. Revealing that secret to anyone outside of the House, particularly a student from their arch rivals house was major faux pas, one that Severus had made on his very first day of school. In his excitement to tell Lily everything about his day, which at that time was part of his daily ritual, he had invited her over for Pumpkin Juice in his Common Room. Ultimately this has resulted in poor Severus being locked out for the rest of his first week. He was lucky for the kind heart of his Head of House, Professor Slughorn who had taken pity on him and invited him to his chambers until the situation had cooled down and he had been allowed to return.

However, whenever he saw Lily casually leaning in the doorway, far too sure of herself to be afraid of the other Slytherin students, shooting him that glorious smile that would lighten most darkened rooms, Severus could only consider this a worth sacrifice, no matter how awful the experience had been. Besides, she had sworn to take the secret to her grave, and Severus trusted her with his life, arch rival or not. He always adored it when she called on him unexpectedly at the dungeon door and today was no exception. His mood lightened instantly, any remaining anger that he may have been feeling as he had rushed to greet his friend had instantly evaporated and he returned her smile without thought.

"You're ok? I was worried." forever and eternally kind, was Lily Evans and Severus felt the gnaw of guilt in the pit of his stomach as he realised that he was the cause of her worry.

"Yeah." he replied a little stiffly, certain that he didn't want to rehash their conversation from the other day, but certain that he would not be able to avoid it.

"I don't understand what happened I just..." she trailed off. They stood in awkward silence for a moment, regarding each other carefully. On one hand, Severus considered, he knew he could tell Lily anything, she would never judge him or hold it against him, but on the other hand, he had shown far too much weakness since he had arrived at this blasted school and had been paying a heavy price since. A half truth would suffice he thought to himself and if worded properly, could well drive a wedge between James and Lily before their budding friendship developed into something a little less satisfactory. Unfortunately, years of solitude had rendered Severus uncertain with words, particularly those regarding the heart, and so simply he blurted out.

"He's a bully"

"No he isn't" she laughed a little, "he's just a bit..."

Severus regrouped and cut her off before any sickly words of affection could slip from her mouth that would undoubtedly pardon the Potter boy from his sins.

"He bullies me."

There was a long pause, in which it seemed that Lily was frozen in place, eyes widening slightly.

"Oh." she said. Pausing again, and then, "Oh Severus I had no idea." and she pulled him into the warmth of her embrace, standing on tip toes to press a gentle kiss to his temple as she she ran her fingers through the dark strands of his hair. They stood like that for a moment, Severus neither returning or rejecting her hug, slightly shocked by her sudden action. As she pulled away she smiled sadly, almost pityingly at him.

"Lunch?" she enquired, when he had said nothing.

It wasn't quite the reaction he had hoped for, but it would do for now, besides, he had suddenly realised just how hungry he was.


End file.
